NFBE Chapter 262 Subtle Love and Hate
Chapter 262 Subtle Love and Hate
"You just live too comfortably. Your family has given you too much, which has made you more and more selfish! Other children know to call home twice a day to say hello to their parents, but you only think about your money all day long! Now you're even thinking about money so much that you don't even want to go home. How could I raise an ungrateful person like you!"
"You're a piece of useless mud. If we had known this would happen, we would never have given birth to you! What's the point of giving birth to you? You grow up and don't listen to anything I say. If it weren't for you, why would we live such a hard life? Have you ever given us anything in return?"
"Think carefully about what I said to you! If you are not willing to spend time thinking about it, then I think I will slowly take back all my care and love for you! Because you really don't deserve it!"
Having heard these words since childhood, Lv Hongwen has actually become somewhat numb. No matter how harsh these words are now, they don't seem to have the killing power that words should have. He seems to have lost the ability to get angry, feel wronged and sad because of them.
He would only fall into a quiet but continuous depression, caught in the habitual feeling of unworthiness, the guilt of wanting to escape from his parents, and the sticky emotions that he wanted to cut off but could not.
He knew that not all parents love their children, and some even hate their children. But his parents handled love and hate very delicately. The love they gave him did not make him grow up happily and carefree, but made him live in a low state of stickiness and pulling; the hatred they had for him was not so bad that he decided to abandon the relationship and cut it off. He always felt loved and cared for at the right time.
This made him both hate and feel sorry for his parents. He wanted to get away from them but felt guilty about the idea of escaping.
So after the college entrance examination, he didn't care about which university to go to or what major to study. Instead, he decided to go to another province, the farther the better.
"The store will open on the 12th day of the Lunar New Year, but I will probably be back on the 2nd or 3rd day, or maybe even earlier. If you want to come earlier, I welcome you any day of the Lunar New Year. If you want to come, we will open the door and entertain two tables. If you don't want to come, just close the door and I will teach you how to cook a few dishes." Zhao Xiaojing saw that Lu Hongwen was a little depressed, so she turned her head and said softly.
Everyone at the table was eating happily, while Ouyang Yidan and Geng Mingyan were talking non-stop on the other side. No one noticed the little episode here, and only Zhao Xiaojing and Lu Hongwen and Su Yuchen beside her could hear what she said.
Su Yuchen was stunned and was about to say something, but he turned his head to look and closed his mouth again.
Lu Hongwen raised his head quickly, his eyes instantly brightened, and it took him a long time to smile. "Thank you, Sister Jingzi."
Although he knew that he would most likely not be able to come early, Zhao Xiaojing's words made him feel as if he had a way out, and he gradually felt at ease and comforted from the bottom of his heart.
"Remember to buy the ticket in advance. It's not easy to buy tickets during the Spring Festival travel rush. Let us know when you're coming." Zhao Xiaojing patted Lu Hongwen on the shoulder.
After settling Lu Hongwen, when Geng Mingyan and Hou Guihua had packed up and walked out of the store, Zhao Xiaojing trotted after them and stuffed a red envelope into Geng Mingyan's hands.
"What are you doing, Xiao Zhao? Take it back!" Geng Mingyan hurriedly refused after seeing clearly.
"Sister Geng, don't rush to refuse," Zhao Xiaojing held Geng Mingyan's hand, "This is for Chuchu. Chuchu's winter vacation is over, and I asked to bring her over to eat in the store, but you wouldn't let her. How can it be as comfortable as living with your mother after staying at your brother and sister-in-law's house for so many days? This is my intention, and it's compensation for the child. While the store on the street is still open these two days, Sister Geng will make some clothes for the child.
Besides, there are not many customers at the beginning of the year, so we don't need so many people. When Sister Hou comes first, you can rest at home for a few more days, and I will pay you a few days less. This is also a bribe to you in advance, so that I can save money for myself!"
"Xiao Zhao, you..." Sister Geng was speechless after hearing these words. She shook her head and decided not to refuse. She took the red envelope and patted Zhao Xiaojing's hand.
"Chu Chu is already in the first year of high school, and school will start on the tenth day of the first lunar month. His father's relatives are not good people, and we don't plan to waste time visiting them. Guihua and I have already agreed that I will take Chu Chu to accompany her during the New Year this year. Don't worry, I have time to accompany her. I understand your good intentions, and I will shamelessly accept the red envelope. Guihua and I will come together when the time comes. The store is doing so well, and I don't know when Xiao Lu will be able to come over for the opening ceremony. If I don't come, how can you be busy?"
"That's right! Don't worry, Xiao Zhao. I've got you and your daughter. I'm too impatient to deal with those annoying relatives. If it weren't for Lao Geng, I might not even go back! The three of us can just keep each other company. Although my old house is old, it's conveniently located everywhere. It'll be okay!" Hou Guihua patted her chest, as if she was assuring Zhao Xiaojing.
Zhao Xiaojing was relieved to see that the two had plans and that their school schedules did not conflict with the opening of the business. "That's fine. I'm relieved that the two elder sisters have plans. We will all work hard to earn money and try to buy a house in Jiangcheng in a few years. If not, we'll rent a bigger one! Anyway, we don't have any relatives, so we won't go back and spend the New Year together in Jiangcheng!"
When Hou Guihua and Geng Mingyan heard this, their eyes lit up.
……
"Are you really going to come so early for the New Year?" As soon as they got home in the cold wind, Su Yuchen couldn't wait to take Zhao Xiaojing's arm and ask.
"Yes, I don't have many relatives to visit. You know, the only relatives I still consider me as are my third aunt and her family. But you know my third aunt, she smells good when she's far away, but smells bad when she's near. Sister Yanyan said that if you still smile for the first three days after returning home, you'd better not show up in front of her on the fourth day. At least I had a rental house before, but now that the house is returned, I can only live in her house when I return to Yangcheng. It's not good to live there for a long time, I'm not comfortable.
It’s just that this is the first year, so I have to go back to see her so that she won’t worry. Also, I have to go back to tell her about my third uncle. I might not go back for the New Year in the future.” Zhao Xiaojing smiled faintly.
In her previous life, there was no festive atmosphere and she had to deal with too many trivial matters at home. She had long lost interest in the New Year.
She has never been married in this life. Although she no longer has a house full of hypocritical relatives who appear to be at odds with her, facing Dong Mei still makes her feel very stressed.
This kind of pressure is no longer a sense of debt of gratitude - at least she paid Dong Mei an extra 10,000 yuan, and now she is getting better and better. She is also sure that she will be able to help Dong Mei's family in the future. When it comes time to repay, her heart has gradually become calm.
Rather, it comes from the way Dong Mei has gotten along with her and the younger generations since childhood. Even though they love and care for each other, it is never easy or warm. Instead, it is full of oppression and dominance.
Although Zhao Xiaojing understood her suffering and her strong personality, she also understood that she was strong towards herself because she believed in her heart that it was for her own good.
But her inner feelings were exactly the same as what Sister Yanyan told her: "You know she really treats you well, and you also know her way is wrong, but she doesn't understand. She will never admit that she makes mistakes. It's useless to talk to her, she won't listen, and she thinks you are mentally ill. So even though she does her best to love me and give me what she thinks is good, she doesn't understand me at all, and I can never be close to her psychologically."