NFBE Chapter 354 Obedient and Clingy Younger Brother (65)
Chapter 354 Obedient and Clingy Younger Brother (65)
Jin Shuhe stared blankly at Lu Liruan, wanting to reach out, but Lu Liruan pressed her hand down.
"Hey! Don't move, you still have a needle in your hand!" Lu Liruan was startled and hurriedly checked: "Doesn't it hurt?"
Jin Shuhe really couldn't feel any pain. He didn't know if it was the effect of the anesthetic or something else... He felt dizzy and his mind was blank.
He wanted to speak, but forgot how to start, and just stared at Sister Li Ruan's face.
Lu Liruan noticed that something was wrong with him.
"No way... You can't possibly not remember this already?"
Lu Liruan didn't intend to renege on her debt last time; she just found his reaction amusing and went along with it.
I thought he would remember in a few days, but I didn't expect that he really couldn't remember!
Lu Liruan waited a few days and found that the matter was now stuck in a rut...
He couldn't very well go up to Jin Shuhe and say, "Actually, you already confessed to me that night."
Not only that, but I also... agreed?
Lu Liruan couldn't bring herself to say those words.
But Jin Shuhe seemed more cautious than before, always looking at her pitifully.
He thought he was hiding it well, but in reality, he couldn't hide it at all; everything was written all over his face.
Lu Liruan felt a little guilty, and thus found herself in a dilemma.
I've already been here once, so I don't want to come back a second time.
Jin Shuhe slowly shook his head.
He still doesn't understand why he forgot last time.
"Sister Li Ruan."
"Ok?"
"I won't forget. I like Sister Li Ruan. Does Sister Li Ruan really like me?" he asked haltingly.
"Heh." Lu Liruan snorted: "I like you, but I like you alive."
The initial tension upon hearing the news had subsided, but what followed was a surge of anger that seemed to rise from nowhere.
"I...I am alive," Jin Shuhe repeated blankly.
"Sister Li Ruan, I'm alive."
Listening to his words, which sounded like he was answering a question seriously, yet also like he was being coquettish, Lu Liruan raised an eyebrow.
He is still under the effects of the anesthesia.
"Really? You want me to like you? Answer me a few questions." Lu Liruan lowered her voice, her tone gentle and coaxing, as she sat down next to Jin Shuhe.
"Ok!"
"Then you'd better answer me honestly, or I won't like you anymore~"
"Okay, I'll tell you the truth." He hurriedly assured him, his still somewhat dazed eyes showing a hint of anxiety.
"Xiao He, what are you thinking about?"
"Ok?"
"What were you thinking when you were injured, when you were standing in front of others?" Lu Liruan asked earnestly.
Although she couldn't tell her the details, Lü Chun did her best to tell her what had happened.
When danger strikes, even before others can react, Jin Shuhe has already rushed forward.
In that instant, it was as if he hadn't considered his own safety at all.
"I don't know why this child is like this..."
Lu Liruan understood what she meant; how could she so subconsciously abandon herself for someone else?
Lu Liruan felt that it was probably an instinctive reaction.
Lu Liruan knew that in times of danger, someone had to rush forward.
Even when facing risks, one cannot completely disregard life and death.
Even if it's unavoidable, you should still hold onto the belief that you will do your best to survive and try your best to find a way out of the crisis.
Instead of thinking: "If I die, I die... It's not a big deal if I die," or even throwing myself into the abyss without a thought in my mind.
When a person loses even their basic will to survive, death becomes an easy thing.
"What am I thinking?" Jin Shuhe's mind was hazy.
“If I die, my colleagues will be saved, and Sister Li Ruan… will no longer be in danger.”
He murmured, his thoughts being laid bare under guidance. He seemed to have forgotten that he was talking to Lu Liruan and was simply expressing his innermost thoughts.
"You think that if you die, your sister Li Ruan can live a peaceful and happy life?" Lu Li Ruan was so angry that she almost laughed.
Lu Liruan had also heard from Qin Wen about Jin Shuhe being followed and threatened.
These situations, which concern the safety of family members, can be told to the family members themselves so that they can be more aware of prevention.
Lu Liruan was not moved by Jin Shuhe's words.
What's there to be moved about? He never told me anything, and he made all these decisions for me all by himself.
"Hmm, nothing happened this time, but what about next time? Will Sister Li Ruan be in danger because of me...? I don't want to leave Sister Li Ruan, I really don't want to, but I, I'm so selfish."
"If I die, will I no longer have to think about leaving Sister Li Ruan? I don't want to be separated from Sister Li Ruan even if it means death. I don't know what to do."
This is something that has been weighing on his mind for the past few days, and even after asking his colleagues, he still hasn't been able to come to a conclusion.
"Oh, so you don't have to think about it anymore if you die? Jin Shuhe, how can you be so selfish! You're right, you are selfish. If you suddenly die, you won't have to think about it anymore, but have you ever considered my feelings?" Lu Liruan became more and more angry as she spoke!
"That's why I say you can't date someone who's not mentally mature! Listen to what you're saying... Just because I'm older than you doesn't mean I deserve to suffer. You died without knowing anything, and I'm the only one who's miserable?" Lu Liruan tapped his head hard with her finger.
The hospital bed rocked slightly, and Jin Shuhe leaned against it. His head, which had been nudged by Lu Liruan, swayed a couple of times before he lowered his head.
"Why do you think so?"
Despite her anger, Lu Liruan would never have known that beneath his healthy, calm, and resolute exterior lay such a profound self-destructive tendency if it weren't for the aftereffects of general anesthesia.
"Why...because of me, I'm useless." He hung his head.
“I’m useless to my mother, useless to Aunt Chun, and useless to Sister Li Ruan. I only cause trouble. If I could do something, I would be of some use.”
He suddenly couldn't hold back his emotions anymore; sadness, like a slowly surging tide, finally reached his mouth and nose at that moment.
This was a...delayed drowning.
"How do you want to be 'useful'?" Lu Liruan found the word alarming.
"If only I had come back sooner back then, if only it had been my mother who went out to buy things and I had stayed at home instead." This sentence has been etched in Jin Shuhe's heart for countless years, ever since he was a child, and he has never known who to tell it to.
What's the point of saying it?
He himself didn't know why he couldn't hold back his words today, maybe because he was facing Sister Li Ruan.
I can't lie, I can't dodge, otherwise Sister Li Ruan... won't like me anymore.
Sister Li Ruan's liking, Sister Li Ruan's love, is his lifeline.
Save Mom...
That child was crying and screaming back then.
help me.
The grown-up child is silently calling out; he has never left that damp rain of his childhood, never left that dilapidated room, that extremely cramped space under the bed.
“If I can be useful… I can do anything, Sister Li Ruan. Am I useful? Am I useful to you?”
He's his father's burden, Aunt Chun's burden, and Sister Li Ruan's...
Sister Li Ruan wouldn't let herself say that. Sister Li Ruan said he was the best child, her brother, and family.
He shamelessly fell in love with Sister Li Ruan, but this brought danger to her.
He was useless.
"What else do you want to do to help..." Lu Liruan wanted to hug him, but saw his shoulders hunch. The wound was immobilized, making him unable to move significantly, which made him look even more pitiful.
"For me, your being alive is the most important thing, Xiao He. Your being alive is the happiest thing for me." Lu Liruan leaned forward and hugged him tightly yet firmly.
“Look, I’m so sad to see you lying here today… When I heard the news, my legs went weak with fear. On the way here, they all comforted me and said I was okay, but I was just so heartbroken.”
"I'm already so sad when you're injured, what would I do if you died?" Lu Liruan said from the bottom of her heart. She couldn't imagine what she would do if Jin Shuhe died in front of her.
"You are the most important... You are the most important to me."
Before hearing these words, Jin Shuhe never realized that they were the words he had wanted to hear most for so many years.
He had never been important to anyone. He asked himself countless times what the meaning of life was. If death was important and meaningful, could he... go and die?
"You can't die."
"If you die, who will wash our carpet? Who will change the light bulb? Who will watch a horror movie with me?"
Lu Liruan pressed her forehead against his: "Who will be my boyfriend?"
Jin Shuhe's tears fell one by one. Only he, who was alive, could do what Sister Li Ruan said.
"The good days are still so long ahead, why don't you look ahead... It would be meaningless if you died, you would only leave us with pain and sorrow."
Lu Liruan reached out to wipe away his tears, but no matter how she wiped, they wouldn't stop.
Lu Liruan suddenly remembered the earliest time when this child hugged her, his tears soaking her clothes on her shoulders.
I've grown up, yet it feels like I haven't grown up at all.
"Sister Li Ruan, I'm still alive," he suddenly said in a muffled voice.
"Ah."
"That……"
"What's wrong?" Lu Liruan touched his face.
"Do you still like me? You won't stop liking me just because I did something wrong, will you?" He sniffed.
"Pfft—" Lu Liruan was amused by his chaotic logic: "You really do come up with things on a whim."
“I like you. As long as you’re alive, I’ll like you. You have to keep living, stay by my side, take care of me, and show concern for me, just like you told my parents.” Lu Liruan said softly.
"I need you so much, remember that? Don't forget again."
"it is good."
“I recorded it.” Lu Liruan showed him the phone recorder that she had just turned on.
Jin Shuhe tilted his head, looking confused.
"In case you forget again, I don't know how to explain it to you."
"Oh."
"Promise me you'll live well, and do your best to live."
"I promise."
"Good boy, good girl, say it again."
……
Jin Shuhe's anesthesia wore off completely in the middle of the night, and even with the pain pump, he was still sweating from the pain.
I would fall asleep for a while, then be woken up by the pain, and toss and turn until dawn.
As the morning light shone through the thin curtains of the hospital room, Jin Shuhe felt incredibly clear-headed once again. Looking at the rising sun, it was as if he had come back to life.
"Hey--"
When Lü Chun pushed open the ward door, she saw Jin Shuhe struggling to half-move off the bed, keeping his upper body completely still, hooking the blanket on the bed next to him with his fingertips, trying to cover the sleeping person with it.
"Let me do it."
Lu Chun said in a low voice, and tiptoed in.
Then I noticed that Jin Shuhe's eyes were a little swollen and the corners of his eyes were red.
I didn't think much of it, assuming it was just swelling from too much IV fluid, since this kid usually seems so calm and strong that he doesn't look like someone who just graduated.
Who would have thought that just a few hours ago, he was leaning against his sister's chest, crying like a big cat.
"Does it hurt a lot?"
Seeing him frown, Lü Chun glanced at the pain pump: "Should we tell the doctor?"
Jin Shuhe shook his head, his gaze still fixed on Lu Liruan, appearing absent-minded.
"What are you looking at..." Lü Chun covered Lu Liruan with the blanket.
Lu Liruan didn't fall asleep until after 5 a.m. Yesterday, she sat by the bed holding Jin Shuhe's hand and felt that he had a fever. She stayed with him until his temperature returned to normal before she dared to lie down.
"How's the case going?" Jin Shuhe asked softly.
"They're investigating. He's illegally possessing firearms and ammunition, smuggling and trafficking drugs—enough to get him executed ten times over," Lü Chun said with a sigh.
"A light confession is useless if the evidence is too strong. We've closed the chain of evidence, and we owe you a lot this time."
"No... it's all thanks to everyone's hard work." Jin Shuhe wasn't used to being praised.
"Team Leader Xie is going to give you a commendation, huh? Well done, the quality of you new recruits is much better than ours was back then!" Lu Chun teased.
"But don't get your hopes up too high. The current situation is that unless you're on the Wall of Heroes, the chances of getting a personal merit are slim."
“Then it’s better to live…” Jin Shuhe said in a low voice, and Lü Chun was stunned.
"Absolutely! Nothing beats being alive, you know that! Being alive is better than anything! We in the Major Crimes Division have been having normal retirements for years, don't you dare break that rule!"
Lu Chun was closest to him when the incident happened, and she had vaguely sensed that something was wrong. Now, hearing what he said, she breathed a sigh of relief.
When Lu Liruan woke up, she saw Lü Chun sitting next to her and nodded.
As I sat up, I noticed that the child's gaze was shifty, constantly glancing over at me, looking both cautious and pitiful.
Oh... you still remember this time?
Lu Liruan gave him a half-smile: "Sister Lu, could you please watch over him for a while? I'm going to check if the caregiver has arrived yet."
Lu Liruan had already contacted a caregiver last night.
It was really difficult for her to take care of Jin Shuhe by herself; she couldn't move him or lift him.
When Lu Liruan woke up, she didn't do anything to impress herself. If something could be solved with money and make everyone more comfortable and happy, she would spend money to do it.
The caregiver we hired was a robust woman in her fifties.
He immediately gave Lu Liruan a demonstration, turning the tables on Jin Shuhe effortlessly.
"Okay, thank you for your help. I'll go home and get something." Lu Liruan looked at Jin Shuhe with a smile.
With the caregiver and Lü Chun present, Jin Shuhe opened his mouth, looking at Lu Liruan hesitantly, but couldn't say anything.
“I’ve sent you the recording… While I’m back, listen to it carefully and recall what you promised last night.”
Before leaving, Lu Liruan leaned close to Jin Shuhe's ear and whispered something with a hint of a smile.